A dysfunctional family - Reuben Abati January 18, 2008 | posted by Mobolaji Aluko (Archives)

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GUARDIAN

January 18, 2008

A dysfunctional family
By Reuben Abati

"YOU know, these days, I find myself sympathising with that your Baba. For him, as they say, it is not just raining, it is pouring. Everywhere he turns, something undignifying appears to be waiting for him. The past often catches up with every man. But in that your Baba's case, the past is not only catching up, it holds a dagger in its pouch."

"Must you always speak in tongues? Can't you talk straight? I don't know what you are talking about."

"Ah, oro pe si je, as my people would say.

"Can you speak English please?"

"The thing is so strange, so unusual, it defies any explanation."

"What thing?"

"Go and sit down. Are you not in this town? You mean you have not heard that your Baba's son, his own child, is saying that he has decided to divorce his wife, the mother of his two children, because his wife sleeps with his father and also sleeps with her own father."

"Eewo. Abomination."

"His wife says she too does not want to marry him again too. She wants a divorce. But she is asking for compensation and maintenance allowances running into millions of money."

"Yes, I read the story. The boy is insisting that even before the divorce case can be considered, the two fruits of his marriage must undergo a DNA test to determine who their real father is - himself, or his father, or his father-in-law."

"But must the boy destroy his father and destroy his father-in-law, just because he wants to divorce his wife? He can dissolve the marriage simply for multiple reasons without having to destroy relationships. What he is doing is unAfrican?"

"What are you talking about? So, it is African for a father-in-law to commit adultery with his son's wife? And is it African for a man to commit incest with his own daughter?"

"It is not proven yet. We have heard only one side of the story. These are mere allegations. And there is no way anybody can prove any of those things. Are you sure the boy and his lawyers are okay?"

"These are statements made in a 50-paragraph affidavit sworn to before a court of law."

"So? Is the affidavit part of court records? Did you check? Suppose it is not true."

"Why would a man make up such a story if it is not true. And if it is not true, why are the other parties not speaking up? If they have anything to say, by now, a whole week after the publication of the story, they should have been out there defending their integrity."

"What if they are talking to their lawyers to slam the newspapers that have been purveying the story with sadistic glee, with libel suits."

"You know what I think?"

"What?"

"I don't think anybody will say anything or do anything like that. Whatever those people say in public will be misinterpreted. This is why people are always advised not to wash the dirty family linen in public."

"This is more than washing dirty linen. This is a dysfunctional family at work. It is a very strange soap opera. The thing stinks. A father-in-law who cannot control his trousers. A father who is accused of incest. And a daughter who we are being told will bare everything to anybody, if the price is right. And the complainant is the woman's own husband."

"I have looked at it carefully. I think this is an Abeokuta thing."

"What is the matter with you? Are you also becoming dysfunctional?"

"I think you have just heard that word, the way you are throwing it around. What I am telling you is a well-known truth. After all, all the families that have been disturbing Nigerians with their dirty linens in recent times are all Egba families. Do you people have elders in that town? The elders should step in and stop what is becoming a communal disgrace."

"You will hear from our lawyers. I hope you know there is something called group libel. There is even testamentary libel."

"Go and sit down. Everybody knows that you people are the ones always producing children who need to take DNA. The ones that don't need DNA are either fighting their fathers, or fighting over inheritance."

"May the Good Lord forgive your sins."

"But talking seriously you know. I think it is the entire Nigerian society that is dysfunctional. The marriage institution collapsed a long time ago. We may get to hear stories about the sad lives of rich and powerful people, but strange things really happen in our land."

"There are forces at work which we have no knowledge of. Dark, unseen forces."

"I think power is at the root of it all. Men of power do strange things. They are driven by a different kind of spirit."

"What kind of spirit will make an old man, remove his trousers and jump on top of his own daughter-in-law?"

"You are old-fashioned. He doesn't have to jump. He and the girl could have tried different styles."

"Or a father and his daughter?"

"We live in end times."

"But where does the Baba find the energy from? There are too many stories about his life with women."

"You'd be surprised to know that some of these old men are as randy as a horse."

"And how about values?"

"It is the lady who should answer that question."

"But candidly do you believe the aggrieved husband?"

"Really, I do not know what to believe. But I think lawyers should try to be more careful. Lawyers should help to build society, not destroy it. I don't like the idea of lawyers sticking a pin in the soft underbelly of society."

"A lawyer is a messenger, please. His job is to represent his client."

"Even when the client is trying to hurt society?"

"Please. He is not hurting society. He is simply explaining why he wants to divorce his wife."

"These are all very strange people indeed."

"Look, before you begin to sound like a pastor, I think we should be more concerned about the public dimension to the revelations. Let the pastors and the elders of Egbaland try to manage the mess being created by their sons."

"The girl's father is actually Ijebu."

"Okay, let the people of Ogun State worry about the mess. But let the rest of Nigeria ask questions arising from the revelations."

"I am listening."

"One, the boy says his wife was rewarded by his father with juicy NNPC contracts. That calls for a probe. Which contracts? Was due process followed? A company was mentioned as the beneficiary of the NNPC contracts. Does it exist? These are the kind of questions the media should be asking instead of playing the moral police."

"Well, the woman says her husband also used his position as the son of a President to get contracts and commissions from public institutions."

"Those are the kind of issues we need to investigate. We already know that in the past eight years, people in high places abused their offices. What we are dealing with in this divorce mess may well be the ultimate case of corruption - public and private."

"I think NDDC contracts were also mentioned."

"Investigate everything."

"Oil blocs, too."

"Let the public know the truth."

"Can we discuss something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like President Obasanjo and his travails in the hands of the Yar'Adua government."

"I see your point. It is not just raining in the former President's backyard. It is actually pouring. I think the matter has reached a point now that he has to start speaking up to defend himself."

"What is he supposed to defend? The storm on the home front? Or the systematic rubbishing of his legacy?"

"For me, the sharpest blow was delivered during the week by President Umaru Yar'Adua when he disclosed that the Obasanjo administration spent $10 billion on the power sector and there is nothing to show for it."

"Yeah. I know. And he said this to Mrs. Oby Ezekwesili, who was visiting him as World Bank Vice President."

"But she was in charge of the Due Process Office during the Obasanjo administration. I think President Yar'Adua was sending a clear message to former President Obasanjo to the effect that his government did not observe due process in the award of contracts in the Power Sector."

"Only God knows who and who got those contracts. And how."

"But what of the power stations the Obasanjo government claimed that it was building? There was also much talk about the purchase of equipment and the upgrading of PHCN facilities."

"Precisely my point. President Yar'Adua should not just moan about the power sector. He should probe whatever it was that the Obasanjo government did."

"He says he won't do anything until he has studied the situation on the ground."

"So, what has he been doing in the past seven months? The national electricity supply is down to 2,000MW. The required nation-wide supply is about 30,000MW. And he is talking about doing something about the situation in 2009. Let him start now."

"He should start by sacking all the people who managed the power sector during the Obasanjo era. They should be talking to the police."

"How about the last minute contracts that President Obasanjo awarded running into about N752 billion."

"NNPC contracts."

"Those contracts were disallowed by the NNPC Board, but the moment the Board was dissolved, the Presidency immediately awarded the contracts."

"A clear abuse of due process."

"Who are the owners of the companies that got the contracts?"

"I agree with you. There should be a probe."

"Looks like everything that President Obasanjo did is being probed, or about to be probed."

"Good for him."

"Good for Nigerian democracy."

"But I am not happy that the National Assembly is not asking enough questions about the past."

"No. That is not true. Look at the budgeting process. It was through the National Assembly that we got to know about the monies that were hidden in secret accounts by the Obasanjo administration and the special tax waivers that he handed out to a favoured few."

"I see. I thought I read somewhere that the National Assembly is considering a bill against indecent dressing in Nigeria and I had shuddered."

"Indecent dressing? How is that a national emergency?

"You are asking me?"

"But do you have any idea when the divorce case would come up in court?"

"Which divorce case?"

"The case between the former President's son and his estranged wife."

"You think that's what I should be monitoring?"

"Well, are you not enjoying the story?"

"No"

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